Mon. Jun 21st, 2021

I’m possibly easily pleased but I really like that – notwithstanding the weird choice of references to the dead First World War spy with the missing head

Ewa is not wrong, is she?

She name-drops Cleopatra in this song, and her 2020 entry would have been about Cleopatra had the contest gone ahead…

Weird trivia corner: after her death the head of Mata Hari, whose birthname was Margaretha Geertruida Zelle, was embalmed and kept in a museum in Paris, but it went missing in the 1950s…*cue spooky mystery music*

It takes some nerve to rock up to Rotterdam with a song about a Dutch woman who was executed by the French for collaborating with the Germans during the First World War but it is Eurovision and here we are. Mata Hari by Efendi is representing AZERBAIJAN and it is what I would classify as “a Eurovision banger”. I mostly listen to Joy Division and The Fall in my spare time, mind you, so my views on pop music may not be definitive. However my colleague Ben has also described it as “the propulsively brilliant banger you’re most likely to Shazam after a pitcher of sangria in whichever Mediterranean resort you’ve been allowed on holiday to this summer” which sounds good to me.

This is very French, isn’t it?

Et Voilà. C’est Barbara Pravi avec Voilà pour la FRANCE. Bon chance! That’s about the extent of the GCSE French that I can type at speed at this time of night. I haven’t seen this one either. Merde.

I absolutely love that.

UNEXPECTED DANCERS DOING GOATSE KLAXON!!!!!!!!!

[A safe for work and pleasant Saturday evening explanation of goatse.cx is here]

I’m not gonna lie it is annoying me that Graham Norton gets to make the jokes but doesn’t have to put in the legwork to make the photo composite, does he?

This will 100% be getting my vote later in the evening while my editor is shouting at me to get off the phone to Graham Norton and keep live blogging. It also has some kind of whistle/flute type affair – Ludicrous musical instruments! DRINK!!!!!

I mentioned earlier the joy of Eurovision sometimes being someone turning up with a nose-flute, a live sheep and a folk costume, and I think this is the closest we are going to get to that tonight. I absolutely love this. Go_A is singing Shum (Шум) for UKRAINE and they are going for it. It is techno-folk that builds and builds and Kateryna Pavlenko is going to be *checks notes* using the ancient folklore technique of “white voice” throat-singing. Me either.

Jack Whitehall is on board

On the long shots I can’t help thinking that they’ve “Roop”ed in Jurgen Klopp on the drums and James Corden as the dancer on the left, which is off-putting. Surely the Friends Reunion is enough for Corden, without gatecrashing Eurovision?

Next up is LITHUANIA, with Discoteque by The Roop. It’s not the U2 song, no. That’s not how Eurovision works. It’s very, very yellow, this. Very yellow indeed. Look out for the finger dance, I can guarantee you will spend the rest of the evening intermittently looking down at your hands and wondering if you too can do it. On semi-final night singer Vaidotas explained that one gesture is an ‘e’ and the Spock gesture is a ‘v’ so it makes ‘e-v’ for Eurovision. I wasn’t really any the wiser to be honest.

I wasn’t impressed with this at the semi-final but it has grown on me during this performance. And not just because I feel bad about the joke. She’s young but it is a mature performance, especially holding that little bit of acappella at the end in front of a Eurovision-sized audience. Oooof.

By admin